Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My Top 5 Rules for Flying

Just a few more days until I'm reunited with my sweet city London and then off for Ireland! I'm so excited I could BURST!

However, I realize that some have never had the privilege of traveling overseas. *sigh* Let me tell you before hand traveling 14 hours on a plane as opposed to 3 hours to another city is no easy feat.

I'm not saying that I'm by any means a "travel expert" but I believe that my traveling since 15 and my love for airports and airplanes gives me some type of credit right? Right?

Therefore, I'll take it upon myself to give Naomi's Rules for Flying. Enjoy!

Rule #1: DON'T RECLINE YOUR SEAT ALL THE WAY BACK--I HATE this with a passion! There are some people who are completely oblivious to the fact that they are on a full flight with people in front, behind and to the side of them. Yet, these jerks still decide to recline their chairs and in the process squish poor little me. I'm already uncomfortable because I'm sitting next to someone who won't stop talking and the last thing I need is some overweight middle aged businessman taking a nap in my lap because he can't get "comfortable." Last time I checked my lap was NOT a bed!

Rule #2: GET EVERYTHING YOU NEED FROM YOUR OVERHEAD--People please! My head cannot withstand your "carry ons" that apparently have small children in them! Don't give me a concussion when you're getting something from the overhead compartment. If you need to get something, heck ask me I'll get long as the broken pieces of your small rolling suitcase don't fly in my eye and blind me. Think. Think LONG and hard before you put that carry on in that small overhead. THINK. DO YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED? THINK!!!!!! Or at least make a list....

Rule #3: HEY MR. DJ I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR SONGS!-- No. Really. I DON'T want to hear your Lady Gaga album. I have my own music that I'm listening to and if I can still hear whatever you're listening to, we will not have a pleasant flight. Also, when I politely ask for you to turn down your deafening music, do not proceed to give me the death glare or (true story) apologize and ask if I want to listen and then put your sweaty headphones on my ears! Yick! Just please be kind to your ears and my tolerance level. Thanks.

Rule #4: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH--A friendly chat with the person you're sitting next to is okay at the beginning of the flight or random times when you're both awake, but I'm not your BFF and I really don't want to hear about your baby, your dog Skip, your ex or your job. There are some people that enjoy talking to their "passenger buddy" and that's just great. Depending on the person and my mood I'll have a great conversation. But when that lull hits (and you know that lull that I'm talking about) lets just go our separate ways and sleep or knit or watch a movie.

Rule #5: WHY YES, I WOULD LOVE TO BE A HUMAN CATAPULT--Seat grabbers. Ugh. I understand that you need to get up, but don't pull me so far back that I feel like I will go flying across the plane and into the cockpit. Try pushing yourself up with the arm rests. Try something that doesn't involve me getting whiplash or having my hair ripped out in the process. Trust me, it's not fun.
So there you have it, proper plane etiquette! Heed my advice people! These rules will take you far in life and help you to avoid hearing a mouthful of obscenities.

Other honorable mentions for the rules of flying include: Leaving the reading light on all night ♥ Sick people ♥ Silent but deadly ♥ Bad BO ♥ Arm rest hoggers ♥ Kids ♥

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