Monday, July 23, 2012

Is Your Family Holding You Back?

A friend of mine recently graduated from college and made plans to move to another state by herself. Naturally, she told her family of her decision and was hoping to receive their support in return. Wrong.

Rather than support her or assist her, her family essentially opposed her idea with accusing questions that were disguised as “concern.” They questioned why she couldn’t stay where she was, what she was going to do with herself in a new city, has she planned everything out etc.

Now this is where things get a little hazy. These could be seen as normal questions; sometimes family want to make sure you’re thinking rationally and have a solid plan before making a big move. However, when do you draw the line between being “prepared” and your family scaring you?

I remember when I was preparing to go to London for the first time, at the ripe age of 15, and my mother and I jokingly asked a family member to donate to the cause. Her response?

“Oh we’re not giving any money for you to go to some foreign land. You don’t know what types of crazy people live there.”

I love my family, but that completely turned me off. Resilient to her comment, I still traveled to London and had a wonderful time despite the London 2005 bombings.

How do we differentiate between your loved ones wanting what’s best for you versus them being scared to let you go? When do “sensible questions” turn into an alternative plan to turn you off from doing what you desire?

Sure your family only wants what’s best for you, but sometimes you have to make your own mistakes because you don’t know if they can lead to a wonderful opportunity. Isn’t that what life is all about anyway? I guarantee that no one in the world would be who they are or where they are if they hadn’t made some type of mistake in his or her life.

Now I am in no way saying you shouldn’t listen to your parents because the good Lord knows I wouldn’t be where I was if it hadn’t been for my parents support or advice, but you have to figure out what you think is best for you and your life after an ample amount of research.

Whether you’re deciding on moving, going to school or making a major career change, don’t let your family place their fears on you. Stay confident in your decision and see what happens! 


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